Revamp your sex life and keep things comfortable
Generally speaking, sex is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. But, to create smooth sailing between the sheets, lubricant (natural or not) is a must.
The soft, silky feel I'd been longing for between the sheets
In our marriage, getting down and dirty is an opportunity to bond, show one another love and affection, let loose and have a little fun. Prior to having our daughter Isla, I’d struggled with extremely low estrogen levels, but had never felt parched “down there.” Postpartum, things changed. My libido was ready to go but my lady parts were still trying to play catch up and “downstairs” became as dry as the Sahara desert.
Each time we attempted to get frisky, the uncomfortable friction stopped us dead in our tracks. In desperate need of lubrication (and a little hanky panky), I headed to the store to find a cost-effective lube that was made with natural, organic ingredients. What I found was product after product filled with extra color, scents, flavors, and other additives that I didn’t feel comfortable using on my delicate vaginal tissue. I left empty-handed and feeling defeated. Among all of my other postpartum issues (diastasis recti, a urethral caruncle and bladder prolapse, just to name a few) now I had to give up sex too?
When I got home I stood in the kitchen with tears, wondering how I could make things less painful and more enjoyable. As I cased the room, my eyes fixated on a quintessential multitasker—a jar of coconut oil. I’d used coconut oil to moisturize my skin, protect my hair from damage, remove eye makeup, and cook with… maybe it could be used as lube too? After a little research, Erich and I headed into the boudoir to test the theory. If I had to sum up the event in one word, it would be FIREWORKS!
Since then, we’ve been stashing the pantry staple by our bedside.
What to look for in coconut oil as a lubricant
It’s so important to be mindful of which brand you’re choosing when it comes to a natural lube. Unfortunately, not all coconut oils are equal. You’ll want to look for a brand that’s organic, cold or expeller-pressed and made without any preservatives or additives. This signifies the oil has been extracted in its most pure form. We use Dr. Bronner’s Organic Virgin Unrefined Coconut Oil (which is the same food-grade type we often cook with). Another quality option is Nutiva Organic Cold-Pressed Virgin Coconut Oil.
How to use it
Coconut oil hardens up in cooler temps but has a low melting point. All you need to do is rub a little into your palms to warm and liquify it. After that, games on!
How to store it
To fancify things (and because a jar of coconut oil beside the bed made me feel like I was about to heat things up in the kitchen rather than the bedroom) I portioned some out into a cute little 4-ounce jar. Then, to keep things as sterile as possible, added a sexy little spoon for scooping.
Although I’ve never tried it, I’ve heard great things about transferring and freezing coconut oil in ice cubes trays. Cover the tray with plastic wrap or a lid and freeze. Store the frozen cubes in a baggie and pop one inside just before getting frisky.
The benefits of coconut oil as lube
- It’s smooth but not too slick or sticky
- It’s easy to come by
- It’s 100% all natural−no unpronounceable ingredients
- It’s preservative-free
- It’s cost-effective (especially compared to other all-natural products)
- It contains natural anti-fungal properties
- It’s edible (and truthfully I don’t want to put anything in my vagina that I don’t want to put in my mouth)
- It doesn’t have an overpowering smell
- Oil-based products can stain the sheets. Luckily though, coconut oil stains are relatively easy to get out, especially if the sheets are cotton and light in color.
- There’s a risk of irritation or disruption of your vagina’s pH balance. (However, some studies have shown just the opposite and claim that the pH of coconut oil mirrors the vaginal pH, so side effects are rare. I’ve never had any issues but it’s always good to be mindful of this.)
- Coconut oil (or any oil-based lubricant) can cause the latex rubber in condoms to tear or disintegrate. If you’re practicing protected sex, you’ll want to use polyurethane condoms or opt for a water-based lube.
- If you’re trying to get pregnant, there are some studies that suggest that oil-based lubricants can affect sperm motility or shape (they may have a more difficult time reaching their target).
- It has a 6- to 12-month shelf life.
Like with most things (sexual or not), lube is a highly personal choice. What I can say is we’ve been using coconut oil to get busy between the sheets for months now and don’t plan on stopping. No scary, unpronounceable ingredients, overpowering smell, or expensive price tag—just a superb, silky smooth feel!